This is mostly a blog where I...share my feelings...I guess...
Mostly a dark...sad...depressed blog about my messed up mind.
Nothing really exciting happens in my life. Suicidal thoughts keep rushing to mind. I used to post about it on the PSF and no one believed me. Well, some did but, they worried about me. Being Kat Allen or "KitKatAllen", I feel no one cares about me in this world most of the time. That is why I am suicidal.
I drank Windex. I cut myself until I bled too much. I try to drown myself. But, it doesn't work. It never does! No one wants me in this world so, why is it so difficult to die? I can't. Whenever I try, I'm reminded of the family I do have and my online friends. And my future. And the homeless man I helped get a home. But, I don't know if they'd even care.
*sigh* Life is tough when the only friends you have are online.
Wait...possibly, I could contact them.
Maybe, just maybe, I could ask them which city they live in, go to that city (my family does a ton of traveling) and try to reach out to them. Not stalk them but, possibly meet them. Personally.
Stupid and risky idea.
Well, I must go to Tennis. And re-do my eye makeup. It has drained from all the tears.
Goodbye, friends.
haveaniceday.
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